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I live in a small city and queer women tend to date a relatively broad age/ geographic range because there aren't a ton of us here. I’d start by creating a group of queer friends who can be supportive and/or social buddies, then work on dating. for them, the thrill of dating a 30 yr old is just as likely to be the opportunity to forget how old they are.

After one such exercise in the Conscious Girlfriend Academy, a participant exclaimed, “I get it now!

Some women identify with the word crone — reclaiming that slur used against old women, and imbuing it with its rightful power.Many old lesbians (some of whom are reclaiming the term, “old,” while others prefer the softer-sounding “older”) know ourselves better than ever before. Now that gay marriage is legal, there are prominent gay politicians, and gay policemen and policewomen march in Pride parades each year, she has a Rip Van Winkle sense of unreality. While there were surprising differences in mental health among different generations of LGBQ people, it's notable that positive well-being was consistent across all groups. Understandably, many bi/lesbian poly women prefer to date someone who is experienced with poly and experienced with dating women, because there’s a lot less potential angst involved. Bisexual people were more likely to report drug abuse and have less happiness, social well-being, and life satisfaction compared with gay and lesbian people.

because a lot of people stay the same emotionally, inside, from 30 to 45, even as they go on getting sexier and more mysterious on the outside. For instance, one woman I know who came out in the late 1960s remembers the times when police would raid lesbian bars and put the patrons in jail if they weren’t wearing at least three articles of women’s clothing.On the one hand, if you make it to 80, you’ve undoubtedly faced more deaths in people you love, and more changes in your own physical capacity, than most people have faced at 40.

She has written for The Onion, The New Yorker, and was previously the Sex and Relationships editor at Cosmopolitan. At other times, the intergenerational friendships that form can be powerfully healing for both older and younger.Many of us have done a great deal of psychological healing and overcome a lot of trauma, and are better-equipped for love now than we were in the past.