Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy

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Whoa. This explains a lot. Also, this book is plain helpful for dealing with anyone who has emotionally immature people in your life. Sometimes not responding is the best response. Disregarding unwanted behavior is an effective way of decreasing its frequency. When you can’t connect through a shared interpersonal experience, you’re unable to recognize how your emotions impact those around you. The author gives lots of great examples, even examples of specific wording to use. That part is especially helpful to me, because I had no idea how to disagree amiably: "it sounds like we have different viewpoints, and that's OK." Or "you may be right but I'd like to do it this way this time." Sometimes emotional immaturity in parents looks like emotional unavailability. This can come through in behaviors that seem aloof, disinterested, or unconcerned with a child’s needs.

This book by its own won’t resolve issues. Why? I had to read 2-5 books on each topic , like: boundaries and limits, assertiveness, narcissistic and bordeline abuse, radical honesty, DBT, self esteem workbooks, critical voice and its affect, and more. Allow yourself to grieve the type of relationship you may be craving but probably can't have with this person. Recovering from EIPs asks tough questions in the form of exercises. It can be difficult to get through this book because being uncomfortable and facing repressed emotions is not our strong suit. It can leave you stunned, provoked, vulnerable and more often- in a state of introspection. You embark on a journey when you read this book, if you know what exactly you're looking for. We seldom realise that a lot of how we react and respond to situations comes from our parents. It happens often that we open our mouths and our parents' words come out. If it is positive, that's good but if it is not, that can really screw you up. Change is easier when you really feel the magnitude of what your old distorted self-concept has cost you. That’s when your pain can be used for good. This is a supplemental guide that supports author Lindsay C. Gibson’s other book Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents. This book has validated so much for me, shown be where I still need to focus and improve, highlighted some bad habits I still need to break, but it has also given me space to breathe. To feel one step closer to “normal.”Drawing on the success of her popular self-help book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers yet another essential resource. With this follow-up guide, you’ll learn practical skills to help you recognize the signs of an EI, protect yourself against an emotional takeover, reconnect with your own emotions and needs, and gain emotional autonomy in all your relationships. This is a how-to book, with doable exercises and active tips and suggestions for what to say and do to increase emotional autonomy and self-awareness. Dan W. Briddell, PhD, licensed and board-certified clinical psychologist with over forty years of clinical practice experience, and author of The Love Bug and Other Tales of Psychotherapy Keeping this compassion in mind, it’s possible to improve your relationship dynamic with emotionally immature parents. Zobolas and Louis recommend: You can decline to accept their criticism, and distinguish what they are saying to what is actually true about yourself. You get to define yourself, not them. Don’t fall prey to EI takeovers. This self-protective emotional disconnection makes it easier for the EI distortions to take over our mind and heart. I really enjoyed this book, I feel it has some really good and helpful tools for people who struggle with the strain of having emotionally immature parents in their lives.

Shame is a feeling / emotion (thus it eventually passes), not a definition / statement of my worth.This can happen either overtly via insults and arguments, or covertly by consistently making themselves the topic of conversation, or via subtle little jabs and slights etc. I found so much useful information in this book. The author is wonderfully matter-of-fact yet kind: "Here's what's going on, here's what you may have had to deal with, here's many of the ways you might feel, there's no shame in feeling any of these things, and here's some compassionate support and strategies for moving forward." So many of my interactions with EI people and parents leave me feeling resentful, and I struggle to put my finger on what exactly happened, often blaming myself for being weak or angry. The book has given me more clarity, explaining what emotional maturity looks like and how many of us feel around it, versus emotional immaturity and how we might feel. When someone gets really upset when I don't do what they want, it's pretty understandable for me to feel fear and guilt. Who wants to see their boss or parent fall apart? That's painful and scary! Emotionally mature people may be disappointed when I say no, but they can keep their world together. Their stability doesn't depend on me. They respect my existence and needs as separate and equal. Emotional reactivity is the intensity with which you respond to emotions. High emotional reactivity is a sign of poor emotional regulation and involves intense shifts in your emotional responses.