Your most important massage tool is lotion or oil, since this will help your hands glide more easily along your partner’s body, Pasciucco notes. Just make sure you review the ingredients first, especially if either of you has skin allergies or fragrance sensitivities. Need to add a little *spice* to the bedroom? Easy—it's time to incorporate a massage oil into your sex routine on the reg. Some sexual body oils can be used for foreplay and aftercare, and according to Lisa Finn, brand manager and sex educator at Babeland, a sensual massage can "help add new forms of stimulation into our sexual repertoire." Instead of solely focusing on your partner's pleasure points, these body oils allow you to pay attention to other, often less explored parts of the body. "So often we dive right into genital touch that we ignore the other erogenous zones of the body that can really heighten our arousal," she says.

A “happy ending massage” is a slang phrase that refers to a traditional full body massage that ends with a sex act designed to cause the client to orgasm. In many places around the world, it’s illegal for massage parlors to offer this service. Once you know that your body responds well to the oil, you can get going. If you're enjoying some solo time, Finn recommends touching parts of your body near erogenous zones, like your thighs, and giving yourself a sensual massage. If you're in the market for a silky liquid to melt the stress away, here are some things you should keep in mind. Depending on the type of massage that interests you, you might be better served by a more formal class. Many massage therapists and sex therapists offer private or group classes. Some of these are couples-focused, but others are not. Safety Concerns and Special Considerations

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Lingam (sometimes spelled lingham) and yoni massages are tantric massages that focus on male and female sacred spaces that involve the genitalia. Approaches may differ, but both usually begin with traditional tantric energy work. Vitamin E is an added vitamin that helps to condition and soften skin, and it gives a lot of massage oils a really nice, soft glide to them," Finn says. You can also never go wrong with coconut oil, adds Shelton. “I use this for those with sensitive and dry skin. Coconut oil leaves their skin feeling soft and moisturized, but not left feeling heavy or weighed down." Plus, the glide offering is generous and a single application is usually all that is needed, she adds.

You can also incorporate massage oil into partnered play. "You can try using a blindfold on your partner and using massage on different parts of their body," says Finn. "This can be a good way to combine adrenaline with relaxation—the excitement of not knowing where hands are going to go next combined with that intimate soft touch that massage can provide." Finn also suggests using massage oil during aftercare to enhance intimacy.Once your partner is situated, find a position for your own body that you won’t mind holding for a while. You can sit beside your partner, pull up a chair next to the bed, or—if you want to heat things up right away and this works for both of you—straddle your partner while you oil up your hands and prepare to caress their stress away. In some practices, sexual massage has a spiritual and even healing component. Both Tantra and ancient Taoism related sexual energy to life force and developed massage techniques meant to promote sexual and spiritual health. Psychotherapists occasionally recommend these practices, both for individuals and people in relationships, in the case of issues that may be psychosexual, such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and anorgasmia. Safety first! Finn recommends spot-testing your massage oil (on the inside of your forearm, for instance) before going ahead and using it everywhere. Sexual massage between partners can be an enjoyable way to be intimate together. If you’re seeking sexual massage from a professional, it’s important to understand what’s legal in the state or country you’re in before you request service. Other Names for Sexual Massage