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Sheridan Poorly – A man convinced that he is terminally ill, even though he is constantly being told by doctors that there is nothing wrong with him. Colin the Amiable crocodile strips centred on a small crocodile named Colin. In one strip he was shot by a birdwatcher because he said "hello" to the man. The character also appeared later on front covers of other issues, such as with a skinhead who tells people to buy the comic or he shoots the croc. This article needs additional citations for verification. Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. Il Duce, Old Duce – A strip featuring Benito Mussolini who wants the people of the town to bow down to his fascist dictatorship, but his hippie father keeps ruining his day.

Big Vern – a man who believes he's an East End gangster. Almost every strip follows the same story, in which Vern and his friend Ernie will begin a seemingly ordinary but with Vern convinced they're actually committing a criminal 'job', believing Ernie's protests that they aren't is just a cover story. At some point, a person will make an innocent remark which makes Vern will shoot the person in the head believing he's the police (while shouting something along the lines of "No bastard copper's gonna take me alive!" or "Get dahn, Ernie, he's going for his piece!") before then shooting Ernie (sometimes believing Ernie 'grassed' him up, while other times doing it to save him from prison) and finally himself. Despite this, both are always resurrected for the next issue. usually with a graphic depiction of him shooting himself in the head with a sawn-off shotgun. Vern's second name is Dakin, a reference to the notably violent 1971 British crime thriller Villain, whose anti-hero (played by Richard Burton) is named Vic Dakin. Daley Starr – a schoolboy aspiring to be a journalist, who turns his family's and classmates' misfortunes into exaggerated "scoops". His name is a play on the Daily Star tabloid newspaper. Joe, 90 - A once-only spoof of the iconic character. The World Intelligence Agency decides to recruit Joe for a new mission, despite the fact he is now in his 90s and extremely frail. He is briefed on the dangerous mission (despite such a venture obviously being both physically and mentally beyond him) and placed in the 'Big Rat', only for him to die while his abilities are transferred. The strip ends with the agency deciding to call International Rescue.Badly Overdrawn Boy – a parody of the pop singer Badly Drawn Boy, who is seen busking outside his local bank because he's broke. Laurie Driver – the schizophrenic long-distance driver of an articulated lorry, who murders female hitchhikers and dumps their bodies by the roadside. Brown Bottle – a reporter (sometimes a bank clerk) who thinks he becomes a superhero when he is drunk on Newcastle Brown Ale. In reality, all that happens is that he becomes viciously drunk and passes out, but the twist in the story is that he manages to save the day anyway, by sheer accident. The character is based on Davey Graham, a musician friend of Chris Donald's, who made a similar transformation under the influence. [6] Brown Bottle's enemy Ciderwoman (a "supervillain" who gets her powers from drinking cider) appeared in this strip and her own occasional strips in the magazine.

Diane Abbott and Costello – A strip where Diane Abbott and Lou Costello are guest presenters of Question Time, but argue over the seating plan, with Costello constantly misunderstanding Abbott's instructions in the style of his famous routine Who's on First?

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Tex Wade – "Frontier Accountant"; cowboy desperado and financial auditor who shoots dead anyone who crosses his path (and fails to balance their books properly). George Best is a Cinema Pest – a one-off strip featuring George Best prematurely disclosing the final twists of notable movies such as The Sixth Sense and The Usual Suspects to incensed cinema goers.

Ivan Jelical – an evangelistic fundamentalist Christian, whose proselytising is spectacularly unsuccessful. Billy Britain – a right-wing ultra-nationalist resembling Enoch Powell who appeared in two very early strips. Chris Donald considers him an early prototype of Major Misunderstanding. He also made a one-off reappearance in the September 2002 issue satirising the issue of asylum seekers, where after he spends the strip making several futile attempts to round up illegal immigrants, the local authorities turn his home into a detention centre for refugees. Colin the Amiable Crocodile – strips centred on a small crocodile named Colin. In one strip he was shot by a birdwatcher because he said "hello" to the man. The character also appeared later on front covers of other issues, such as with a skinhead who tells people to buy the comic or he shoots the croc. Overtones of Loopy De Loop Hurricane Heather (She Changes the Weather) – A girl who has a magic ring that is supposed to change the weather, but actually transports her to a desert island, while her ring ends up in the clutches of a fish (which Heather says is silly and ends the strip there.)Barry the Cat – a one-off parody of The Beano's acrobatic crimefighter Billy the Cat. Unlike his Beano equivalent, Barry is incompetent, hopelessly uncoordinated, and is immediately recognised despite his "cat-suit" disguise. The final panel shows him in hospital, suffering from multiple injuries, being told that he has acted "very foolishly". The Adventures of Jeremy Clarkson, the Petrolhead Motormouth – One-off strip featuring former Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson talking extensively about cars to an uninterested Big Issue salesman. Drake's Cake - He's Got a Cake For Heaven's Sake - A strip about Sir Francis Drake trying to protect a cake.